Wind of Change...

Community warning:
The following content is not at all cheery or bright... though, we all at times have to get something off our chests.. so read on at your own risk or RUN now...
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Well there is a poem about people that either come into your life for a reason a season or a lifetime.. it seems that my wind of change has arrived..

I'm sitting here on the verge of bawling as I try and get my head around an email that has just arrived in my inbox.
As some would know for the last 9 weeks i have been really REALLY sick with bugs, though for the last 6 months, sick with a serious deficiency of iron and b12.

I just recieved an email from a "friend" pretty much questioning my friendship and telling me how if the tables would have been turned she would have gone out of her way to brighten my day if i was in need of cheering. (she herself has hit a rough spot)

Though has not even once considered the fact that i may not have been able to cheer her because i was so sick myself.. and i will add, from bugs that i potentially picked up from her to begin with even though she knew how easy i was picking things up..

Why do people have to be so hateful and cruel to people!? Do they have so many friends that they think that its their given right to be this way since if they hurt one friend, they have plenty more to fall back on? I have no clue.. though, i know that i myself am not that way. I cherish every friend that i have, no matter the distance between us.

Anyway.. what her issue is i think is that she was having christmas with us after she kind of announced that she & her husband were joing us for christmas dinner. Matts parents surprised me with flights down to spend christmas with us since its been over 12 months since we have seen them and im starting to get homesick. Plans changed and we had to cancel plans with them for christmas ... She has since announced that they will be "skipping Christmas" and some how thinks that i would have a problem with that. You know what though!? I dont. Im not her mother, nor her keeper... what she chooses to do for christmas is her choice. I was a little shocked though that she would skip it since she was saying how "festive" she was feeling. Was it just a ploy to make me feel guilty i wonder!? Anyway.. who knows.. who cares, really!

Anyway... further that, i think her other problem is that she got an advent count down pressy thing to me (i will add that i had to guide my husband to her house with me with a temperature of 41 degrees to drop inks back that she informed me that day that she "needed urgently". Even though she knew on the day how sick i was.) and she gave the gifts to my hubby, even though i had said to her that i wanted to catch up and exchange them at a later date. (so.. ofcourse, after my suggesting that, i did not take mine to her)

Since then, ive not seen her to give her mine. They are still sitting on my desk prettily wrapped.

She bowled me out in this email reminding me in no uncertain way that I was not a good friend because I had not got her advent thing to her and especially when she had been sick and down, that she thought that if I was any kind of a real friend i would have broken my back to have gotten a little sunshine to her. She then went on to say that obviously, that is where we are different.. she would have made it her biggest priority to cheer me.

Not for one minute though was their consideration though that i was perhaps not in any position to be able to get these to her and provide the sunshine that she so "needed".

It doesn't stop there though, she went on to remind me that by my starting work full time, that i would not have as much time to spend with her . My god.. what ever happened to being happy for someone!?

Seems that the entire reason for giving is not there in her case and that it is a complete tit for tat kind of thing. You know.. she gave, so she must be given to. yes i have something for her..
She knows this.. god knows that i have told her enough times... though with my new job will not have a moment to get it into her now before christmas day. It makes me so angry that when she is sick, the world seems to need to stop, though when someone else is sick.. it really doesnt matter.
For example, the inks. It makes me angrier that i seem to have to put my life on stand still to accomodate whims.

Who demands like that!? Who really needs to be constantly self assured and glorified of their sitiuation?
I'm not going to let her ruin my happiness or my seasonal spirit...
all i can say is...
her loss.

xxxx
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On a cheerier note...

6 days til Cath's Birthday

Santa is checking his list...
Have you been good or bad!?